That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
