Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
