So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
