id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you have feelings for this penis?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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