the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The struggles of a small town man whore
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
