y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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