She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
