You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
As shirtless as possible
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize