And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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