google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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