I could have mohawked her pubes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
