Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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