That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So vagazzling was a success
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