ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
