So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
