Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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