I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
