I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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