u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
