So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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