If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
