I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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