i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize