He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
