Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
