I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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