She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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