i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
4 words: hood of his car
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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