I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
