Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
