can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
