Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
