quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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