We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
