Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
