I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize