you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
