def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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