Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
