Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
