the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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