Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
