She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
