You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
