..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
