Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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