Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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