i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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