I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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