He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
