Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
