is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
