I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
