a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
