in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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