You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
