Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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