so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
