Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
