I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
