I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
