Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
