it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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