the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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