This girl is more easily done than said...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
