she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
