no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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