i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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