I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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