Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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