I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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