hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize