thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
